The Path to a Desireless Life : Finding Freedom in Letting Go

People spend their time running, chasing the dreams, achievements, people, and sometimes even mere joy. To most of us, desires are what make life worth living. Every morning, we get out of bed with a list of tasks that we would wish to accomplish or secure. But what happens when, against these demands and desires, we are suddenly faced with the realization that the desire itself is the enemy?

I came to this realization during what could be considered one of the most enlightening times of my life and has led me to seek the process of becoming desireless.

A Life Full of Wants

Growing up, I always believed in the formula for happiness: do more work, gain more results, and possess things. I strived for good grades in school to get a good job; I strived for a well-paying job and even to be associated with friends just to feel appreciated. I believed that the next car would finish the job, the next material item would satisfy me, and the next boyfriend would fill the void.

But each time that goal is attained, there seems to be something beyond in desire. A human happiness that stems from the satisfaction of a desire was ephemeral. From experience, it was like attempting to fill a bucket with a lot of holes; the attempt was good, but the bucket could never be filled.

The Turning Point

On one of the rainy days I was in the car, annoyed and in traffic, I was already late for the meeting. I turned my head to the side of the road and realized that there is a man selling tea in the rain, and the man is old. Nevertheless, he had the biggest smile on his face, visible beyond district boundaries. Suddenly, it seemed like he understood something I didn’t, something that would let us go our separate ways.

That night I could not stop thinking about him. How could someone with so little be so happy when I, with all my advantages, was never happy? It dawned on me: the problem was not in having or not having something; it was in moving from wanting to have more and more.

Learning to Let Go

I embarked on searching for information on what they term as minimalism, mindfulness, and the study of happiness. One quote from the Bhagavad Gita stood out to me:

A person is said to be established in self-realization and is called a yogi when he is fully satisfied by virtue of acquired knowledge and realization. The conclusion is that such a person is truly desireless.

Lack of desire didn’t equate to absence of goals or purpose. It meant being not captive to passions. I began following gratitude and positivity in the same way, realizing the impermanence of the things that I was attached to.

A New Way of Living

Now, my life is not the best that it could be, but I don’t chase after my life anymore. When I register the pull of the next thing—a larger home, a newer tool, or the approval of someone I admire—I stop and think to myself, ‘Will this make me content?’ In most cases, the response is quite negative.

Thus, by not desiring more than necessary, I have found a sort of liberty that before seemed unimaginable. I now cherish little moments with people, nature, and anything that nature has provided by just opening the window to see the raindrops, to hear the raindrops.

The Desire to Be Desireless

This journey has not been any ‘cakewalk.’ Every single day we receive not only direct but also indirect messages to desire more, work harder, and be better. But it’s an important idea that there is no need to stop desiring in order to be free of desire; it’s about choosing not to want anything over the time spent in wanting.

The idea of wanting to become the opposite of desiring brings me more desire than any other desire I’ve ever known. It has given me the chance to be alive, not because I do possess something but because I no longer have to endure something.

Conclusion and Takeaway

It’s not about giving up on happiness or goals; it’s about figuring out what kind of happiness and goals are worth striving for.

The path to becoming free from desire is liberation in and of itself; its goal is about finding beauty in the plain, the immediate, and the eternal. It comes down to the idea that one cannot be happy if they seek something as a goal, because in an attempt to reach that goal, people are not happy even if they have not realized yet that they don’t need to continue the pursuit.

And as I tell this story, here are my specifications: May you find your way to freedom irrespective of the amount of possessions; that is not freedom if you can learn how to live in the present.